For the past two weeks my life has been surrounded by the theme of closure in such a profound way. I have learned many things from this physical experience that I would like to share. This comes from my personal experience and not from a self-help book.
Most people look for closure in all the wrong places and never find it. Simply because you find it within yourself, not without. You won’t find it in groups, books, other individuals, food, drink etc…. You find it by learning why you experienced what you did and accepting it as the bigger picture of you. The strangest thing of all is that it’s not closure you’re searching for, or at least this was my experience.
The word “closure” can give the wrong impression when it comes to doing inner spiritual work. Some feel if they close the door on the experience and just don’t give it energy then it will go away. Some feel they find closure by getting answers to unanswered questions, which just leads to more questions – and which in turn can drive one into a pit of “what if’s” and “if I only,” thoughts. True monkey mind madness.
I fell into this pit because I was trying to find closure with something very complicated and messy while being surrounded by many amazing souls who were involved in the situation with me. I climbed out of this pit of craziness by doing inner alchemy. I completely took everyone else out of the picture and only focused on myself.
It wasn’t the other people I needed closure with; it was only with one person, and that was ME. I have been doing inner work for a long time, but this was the largest scenario I have experienced because the decision I made affected so many people.
I stopped thinking about the why’s and focused on the how’s.
1. How do I end something with the right energy and begin a new path without locking away the experience from my thoughts?
2. How do I stop the pain?
3. How do I get to the point of transmutation where I can think about the experience I am closing with happy thoughts and zero negativity?
That is true inner alchemy…changing the energetic polarity within myself… Changing the vibration of my inner self and changing the chemistry of my body. Alchemy de-evolved into chemistry and took out the personal spiritual experience entirely.
I started with the spiritual first and decided that I am not finding closure…I am not closing anything. I am finding healing, and healing is not final like closing a door. That is when the door I was trying so desperately to close all along just flew open and hit me in the head.
I made a list of what I hated about the experience. Then I realized what I hated the most was my greatest teacher. I just needed to switch the alchemical energy of what I hated. I didn’t worry about switching it to a positive because that was impossible with some of the issues… Instead I decided to remove the “yuck” from the experiences and whatever was left was the lesson frequency.
I then made a list of what I learned opposite of what I hated. I could really feel the energy of the events changing. I could feel my energy changing quickly. I didn’t close a thing, I just changed the energy in the events and the emotions, which changed the energy in my field. I felt very new and different.
We are healing Mind, Body and Spirit when trying to find healing (closure). When I healed my spiritual energy, my mind changed the way I viewed everything. All is mind as taught in the Kybalion.
Now, it was time to heal the physical body. Our physical body vibrates at a level, and our soul/spirit vibrates at a level, they are both combined in the heart center and that is your total vibratory rate. My physical body took a beating from the emotional energy I was carrying. For this I boosted up my healthy eating, used oils, salts, energy work, crystals, reflexology, meditation, EFT, and just about anything I could think of.
I could feel the healing of my Mind, Body and Soul….it all merged into my heart and increased my total frequency which is in the heart center. I finally realized that I didn’t need to close anything or find closure. Closure wasn’t what I was looking for after all. I learned you can’t find anything by closing a door. I also didn’t really need to find anything. It was inside of me the whole time. I just had to open my inside and take a peek, and what I found was beautiful and not as scary as I thought. I openly forgave myself and all those involved. I respected every single person’s journey and how it affected mine, and I felt such a closeness to them.
When I was done, I sealed that portal of time…that timeline door that I wanted so desperately to close forever…with the most heartfelt energy of unconditional love that I have ever felt…and so it was done.